Retired, Still Up at 5:30 Sweatshirt, Funny Retired Crewneck with Hardware Store Dawn

The words on it: Retired. Still up at 5:30. First in line when the hardware store opens.

Front and center on the crewneck: a window showing a hammer, a saw and paint cans; a red OPEN sign flipping as a sleepy clerk unlocks the glass door; a cheerful retiree in a ball cap first in line, holding a plain coffee cup and a short list. The store is barely open, the clerk is barely awake, and the retiree has a list.

Layer it up. Made for early-rising grandparents. Comes in S-3XL. Try it in Black or Ash; the full list is Sand, Light Blue, White, Ash, Light Pink, Navy, Black, Dark Heather, Forest Green and Maroon.